Listen, I don't really accept Christmas gifts-- well, I do, I just don't really call them that. I prefer the term, "Solstice Tributes." It just sounds more official, you know? It carries a greater air of importance. You may lay them for me in a pleasing display at the base of some type of shrine- oh, a decapitated pine tree will do. Maybe throw some lights on there. Grab this sassy holiday shirt today and let everyone know what's on your Saturnalia wish list.