Neck Gaiters

Hey, we just tell it as we see it- Happy Spoopy Season everyone!

Hey, we just tell it as we see it- Happy Spoopy Season everyone!

Hey, we just tell it as we see it- Happy Spoopy Season everyone!

Hey, we just tell it as we see it- Happy Spoopy Season everyone!

Hey, we just tell it as we see it- Happy Spoopy Season everyone!

Duuuuude I can see sound. I haven't tripped this hard since I took that nosedive down the stairs... yesterday? Time and I aren't on good terms right now... I think time might be a person.

Um... I think there has been a miscommunication in the design department. I mean technically he is "hanging", but... what even would this card mean? "Getting some is in your future"? Sure, if you're packing like this guy.

Once upon a midnight dreary, blah blah whatever. This weak and weary r is such a downer, I'm outie.

What, you think Shakespeare invented new words while he was sober? Have you actually READ Hamlet? Dude was high as a kite. Roll one out for the Bard.

Needless to say, I'm tongue and bends, but I'll be sliding away, slowly tasting dirt on my way.

Huff. Momma shark's gonna need a minute. Uh, doo doo, etc. Maybe leave this fella out of the song.

If you want to cheat, you can rhyme it with anything ending in "ee", but that's cheating. "A sailor took a pen to sea to write some stupid poetry" is CHEATING.

What even does a shark god bless their people with anyway? Bountiful tuna, I guess?

Hey, you're gay, and that's okay.

I've come to take your soul again... I don't remember the folk revival being so evil. Then again, there was America...

It's basic taxonomy, guys. Now who can guess what a freg looks like? That's right, a horrifying twisted abomination. Remember, if you see a freg in the wild, call the park ranger immediately.

Does the vile stench of your breath drive away your friends? You need the cooling power of a silver tongue! Try Breath-O-Met Sinful Mints today and make your breath damned fresh!

What lurks in the mind of the beast that lurks in the darkness? Perhaps he plans to cheat on his taxes---or worse, lie on a resume! True evil waits in the sea...

Banana Fana Fo Fatan, Mee My Mo Matan! Do the name game with your favorite Lord of Darkness with this fun, bouncy design!

Amuse your fellow math nerds with these 3.14159265359... uh... with these just over three snakes. If they say the 's too subtle, tell them to stop being so rational.

I mean, I eat lots of stuff, not just... not just ass. It's just that I really like eating ass! ...Why are you laughing? I'm a shark, dammit! Stop laughing or I'll eat YOUR ass! Why are you still laughing??

I WAAAHnt to suck your blood! WAAAHt is a man but a miserable pile of secrets? Come find me in TWAAAHnsylvania! Don't put a stake in my HWAAAHrt! Okay sorry, that one was reaching.

Don't you hate it when you get to the job interview and you realize you're woefully underqualified because you don't have any flesh? Yeah, I hate that too.

Look, it's hard to fly all day every day, okay? Sometimes you just need to crash---preferably into a pillow. Give your flappers a rest and just snooze for a while.

You set the loaf on the fridge, thinking the bag would keep it fresh, but don't turn your back on it, or you may find a waking nightmare awaits you! Beware!

Whether 'tis bolder or more fine, ay, there's the rubbings. Even the Bard is confused by all these pencils. Somebody get this man a typewriter!

In space, no one can hear you do a victory lap, but that won't stop these stellar athletes! Just be careful not to jump for joy too high when you win---you're likely to escape the atmosphere.

Hop-two-three-four! Boing your way to a fitter, faster you! How are you going to escape the clutches of the evil Fitness Fox, who 100% totally exists?? Get going!

Wrap me up all snuggly, it's sleepytime! Nothing beats a nap tucked into a warm, fuzzy blanket. Zzz.

It's not weird, okay? It's freakin' EXPLOSIONS. Why WOULDN'T they make me anxious?! Why don't they make YOU anxious?? I'll just do what they taught me in school: find a desk somewhere, and duck and cover until it's over.